Technology : Help or Hindrance for the new parent
Technology is a beautiful thing especially in those early weeks and months postpartum when you're so sleep-deprived your not even sure what day it is anymore let alone when your babe last pooped, which breast you fed on last or whether something is “normal”. However throughout the last couple of years, I have noticed an uptick of parents looking for insight from social media, google and of course available pregnancy & infant apps that has me thinking… Is this helping or hindering new parents? Let me say this right off the bat, I don’t know the answer but I would argue that the points I'm about to make are worth evaluating. In a world with information at our fingertips are we helping or hindering our new parents as they grasp this transition?
As an “early millennial” myself I vividly remember the days of dial-up and the excitement of our first cell phone. When I had my first baby in the early 2000’s I couldn’t have dreamt of apps that would track his every activity or a time when I could lean on google for help with my middle-of-the-night “is this normal” freakouts. It’s surreal seeing how far we have come but has it come with a cost?
Let’s talk apps to start
Using these apps such as Huckleberry, Hatch, Ovia etc can act as a “central station” for all the things that require close attention in those early weeks. It helps ensure all care providers are on the same page with feeding times, wake windows, medication etc. It can allow you to shut off that memory part of your brain knowing the information is readily available if need be. Let’s be honest it’s also super cool to look back and see how things have changed over the days, weeks and months since your baby has been earthside. What a wonderful time when days seem “off” and an app can remind you milestones are happening for your little one which helps put pieces of the puzzle together.
In the first few weeks after the birth of your baby, it is so important to keep track of information like feeds and dirty diapers. It is one of the first things your healthcare providers will go over with you after the birth. Doing so helps ensure that your baby is receiving the proper amount of nutrition and that their body is producing the right amount of pees and poops in 24 hours. During those sleep-deprived times having a simple-to-use app takes some of the work out of keeping track on your own. But when is it too much? What is important to track and what might be causing you more anxiety than it’s worth?
As a doula, I work very closely with new parents and from an outsider looking in I can easily see how the pressure to stay on top of it all becomes overwhelming. I’ll never forget the first time I downloaded a very popular baby tracker app and was BLOWN AWAY by some of the prompts. I’m talking about tracking screen time, storytime, tummy time, indoor play, outdoor play the list goes on and on. At the end of the day clients would open up to me about feeling guilty if they didn’t spend the amount of time doing a certain activity the app said they “should” be doing. Instead of these apps acting as a guideline, they quickly became gospel to new parents who just wanted to do what was best. The truth is with infants some days are going to be better than others but whether or not your child is happy, healthy and well taken care of doesn’t come from checkmarks on a cellphone screen.
Up next google searches and social media
Personally, I miss the days of internet searching when you had a question and reputable, insightful and mostly unbiased evidence-based research would be at the forefront of our google searches. Now today it takes very little time (and quite frankly a few dollars) to not only get your content online but advertised through internet platforms. For new parents, this is overwhelming and exhausting. How can you know if you’re doing the “right thing” when you receive completely polarized content from one article to the next.
2+2 and 3+1 both equal 4 so when searching through content ask yourself how does this information sit with me? Does this make sense? Is it coming from a reputable source? Just because someone is doing something differently than you certainly doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. For subjects like sleep training, introduction to solids, potty training etc check that the information you’re taking in aligns with the research on infant development. We live in a beautiful time when information, resources and supports are readily available even in the comfort of our own homes but as new parents, we are vulnerable to the desire to do RIGHT for our children. Take the information you receive with a grain of salt and apply what intuitively makes sense for your family and discard what doesn’t align with your goals and philosophies. Remember confidence as a parent is something that is gained not something you necessarily inherently are born with. Take in information, apply practical skills, learn through trial and error and watch as your confidence soars
The truth is babies haven’t changed but our access to information has. Is there a middle ground that allows us the convenience of easy tracking, researching and learning while still maintaining our innate instinct for our own child's needs?
Some tips I've found useful
Turn notifications off. Your app tracks usage and when you haven’t logged in, in a certain amount of time it will send you notifications to “check in” these are often for advertising purposes and add no real value to you or your family.
Reevaluate WHAT you are tracking. Do you really need to keep track of tummy time, and outdoor play or is it more beneficial to track sleep, food and diaper changes?
When reaching for google / social media ask yourself if are you looking for information or validation. Both are completely reasonable however very different in terms of the information you receive
Cross-reference opinions with evidence-based research to ensure they align
At the end of the day, we just want what is best for our children and by following your intuition, reputable research and social media content that aligns with your philosophy as parents you can lay your head on your pillow at night (even if its only 2 hours at a time) knowing you did the best you could with the information you were provided. I’ll leave you with one last very important quote my dad taught me growing up “My girl opinions are like a$$holes- everyone's got one and most think there's smells better than everyone else's”